Le secret de l’unité et de la fidélité dans le couple

Dans une réflexion récente, j’ai découvert un des secrets les plus puissants pour maintenir l’unité et la fidélité dans le couple. Ce secret c’est … faire l’amour souvent ! (rires !) Je vois déjà vos lèvres esquisser un sourire. Ne vous inquiétez pas, j’ai eu la même réaction que vous quand j’ai reçu cette inspiration. Mais non, ce n’est pas une blague… c’est profondément biblique.  La sexualité est le degré ultime d’intimité et d’unité entre un homme et une femme. C’est au moment où les deux mariés s’unissent sexuellement que s’accomplit pleinement la parole du Seigneur : « et ils deviendront une seule chair » (Genèse 2:24). Ainsi, l’acte sexuel crée une unité créatrice, car c’est par ce biais qu’un homme et une femme (deux chairs séparées) peuvent devenir une seule chair en donnant naissance à un bébé (un seul être issu des deux êtres).

Faire l’amour rapproche. Faire l’amour unit. C’est certainement pour cette raison que l’apôtre Paul nous exhorte : « Ne vous privez point l’un de l’autre ».

1 Corinthiens 7:3-7 : « Que le mari rende à sa femme ce qu’il lui doit, et que la femme agisse de même envers son mari. […] Ne vous privez point l’un de l’autre, si ce n’est d’un commun accord pour un temps, afin de vaquer à la prière; puis retournez ensemble, de peur que Satan ne vous tente par votre incontinence.« 

Faire l’amour entretient l’amour

Faire l’amour n’est pas un acte compulsif et consommateur centré sur soi-même. Mais faire l’amour est plutôt le prolongement de l’affection que l’on donne à l’autre, et qui renouvelle l’amour dans la relation. Hélas notre société pornifiée ne cesse de présenter la sexualité comme un outil d’auto-satisfaction plutôt que comme le moyen de construire une relation : l’autre n’est plus celui à qui je dois donner de l’amour mais juste celui qui doit me donner du plaisir. Cette vision de la sexualité est vicieuse, pernicieuse et malheureuse. En réalité, le sexe (selon Dieu) ne peut être dissocié de l’amour, du don de l’amour. Vous devrez aimer votre conjoint avant de lui faire l’amour, et vous l’aimerez un peu plus chaque fois que vous lui ferez l’amour (c’est à dire chaque fois que vous lui donnerez de l’amour).

Faire l’amour favorise la bonne entente

Faire l’amour nécessite une bonne entente (dans le couple) car il est difficile de faire l’amour dans la mésentente. Tout couple qui se dispute souvent ne parviendra pas à faire l’amour régulièrement. Et si un couple parvient à faire l’amour régulièrement, c’est certainement parce qu’ils ne se disputent pas tout le temps. On pourrait donc conclure que l’acte sexuel marital nécessite et favorise la bonne entente.

Faire l’amour préserve de l’infidélité

Par ailleurs, faire l’amour souvent préserve aussi de l’infidélité et de l’adultère; car un homme qui satisfait tous ses désirs avec sa femme n’aura plus de désirs à satisfaire ailleurs. Voilà pourquoi l’apôtre Paul conseille de ne point se priver en précisant « afin que le diable ne vous tente par votre incontinence « .

A maintes reprises dans la bible, Dieu compare l’idolâtrie à l’adultère (Jérémie 3:9, Jacques 4:4). Dieu souhaite que nous puissions l’aimer (et le désirer) de tout notre cœur, de tout notre âme et de toute notre force. Ainsi, dès l’instant où nous le privons de 1% de ne nos désirs pour les orienter vers autre chose, nous créons une idole et nous tombons dans l’idolâtrie. Or nous savons que la relation mari-femme n’est qu’une image de la relation que Dieu désire avoir avec nous. Aussi, il en est de même pour le mariage. Dès l’instant où nous privons notre épouse de 1% de nos désirs pour les orienter vers quelqu’un d’autre (même en pensées), nous tombons dans l’adultère. « Ne pas se priver l’un de l’autre » est donc un moyen efficace de nous donner totalement à notre conjoint en portant vers elle les 100% de nos désirs.

En somme, faire l’amour souvent est la clé de la fidélité et de l’unité. À tous les couples mariés dans le Seigneur, je prie donc que Dieu nous accorde la grâce de ne point nous priver réciproquement, afin que nos couples soient de véritables vitrines d’exposition de la beauté de l’amour : l’amour de Dieu envers les hommes.

Jean-Bosco A.

Jean-Bosco prépare actuellement son ministère pastoral à l'Institut de Théologie de la Francophonie (Québec). Sa passion est de voir une multitude croire et croître en Christ. Il est marié à Pryscilla (Mïssprys) qui chante dans le milieu du gospel.

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